Thursday, September 24, 2015

Riverside Park--Independence, KS

Many moons ago I did something I dreamed of doing since my 15th birthday. The Fourth of July in Independence found me sitting on a park bench, away from my friends watching the flashing silver streamers and gold twinkles of the annual fireworks display. As the aerial bombs exploded into light, I felt the hot summer breeze drift over my damp skin, but I didn't care because I sat there with my first serious girlfriend.
Straight up Park Street, past the Girl Scout House, the baseball fields and about 35 feet past the two lions guarding the entrance to Riverside Park, there it sat. We used to call it the waterworks, but the Kodachrome fountain that sat about 40 yards from the Shelter House put on its own display, shooting bright plumes of water high in the air and all the while changing colors in a soothing rainbow of red, blue and green.
Holding hands, there were as many stars in our eyes as in the sky. Although I was sitting on the bench, I was far away on another planet watching the silver rings of Saturn and awesome diamond studded belt of the Milky Way. I was in love for the first time in my life; I mean smitten, swept off my feet and overcome with emotion.
Although neither of us spoke, communication flowed through the gushing pipelines of our hearts. With what is now known as Logan Square fountain playing its music on the catch pool surface, even though it must have been nearly 100 degrees, I felt nothing except the smoothness of her skin touching mine.
"There you are," Larry Morrison said. "We've been looking for you for more than an hour. Johnny told us you were out here."
Bucket head Johnson chimed in, "DB doesn't want to be bothered." Leroy wasn't known for startling insights, but even he could see the lost look on our faces. Before I could get a word out my partner Gayle Anderson and Jo Ann Pringle walked up.
"You guys gonna sit here all night? I thought we were going to drop the top and head out to Six-Mile-Junction?"
Even as hot as it was, riding with top down at 70 miles an hour cooled you off quickly. Finally, we got up and stood looking at the fountain until I pulled her close to me and gently brushed her lips with mine.

That was many years ago, but that night in front the fountain is still in my mind, locked away in my personal treasure chest and my memories of a special night in Independence, KS on the 4th of July.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Men and Lesbian Women

What’s the deal with men and lesbian women? Why are so many men sexually interested in lesbian women? Think it’s not true? Go to personal websites and notice how many lesbian women post warnings—“If you are a man don’t write!” Nevertheless, they persist. What is it?
It is not the first time I’ve seen it. I have friends who think that getting involved with a lesbian would be a “great” relationship. What prompts this thinking? I have several lesbian friends who tell me they are constantly pursued by heterosexual men who just won’t take no for an answer.
In some cases, I understand simply because a good-looking woman is always an attraction for a man before he finds out that she is a lesbian. After that, the dance of seduction should end. I would be the first to admit that any male in his right mind would be interested in my friends, BUT—although I love beautiful women, my interest suddenly wanes when women aren’t interested in me—no matter their sexual persuasion, although I'm sure at some time in my life I've been one of those retrogrades. Nevertheless, why go through the hassle?
I’ve seen men who can’t take "no" for an answer even in heterosexual situations and they are the bane of disinterested women everywhere, but to pursue a woman who’s interest clearly is in other women seems like an obvious chance to stay out of a no-win situation. Yet, they persist.
Why? I am not naïve, but it so clear-cut. Why would any man even waste the effort? Still, they persist. I’m sure some straight women try to seduce gay men, but without taking a survey, I’m sure the number is minute compared to men purposely trying to seduce lesbian women.
I try my best not to judge anyone, but in this case I’m going to make an exception by saying that men who knowingly pursue these women either have no idea of what it is they are doing, which I doubt, or they don’t care that they are invading another person’s space. In other words, they are not only shortsighted and insensitive, they are the same misanthropes who also persecute foreigners and participate in mob violence.

Is it just me? Or, am I too sensitive to the needs of others? Any woman who doesn’t want my attention is spared my interests no matter how strong they may be. I would expect the same treatment from any woman whom I did not want. So, again, what is it with men chasing after lesbian women? Is it ignorance, ego or lust? I suspect all three.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

A Barrel Full of Laughs, A Life of Sorrow

A Barrel Full of Laughs, A Life of Sorrow
According to some Negro folk tales, at one time slaves were not permitted to laugh in public. Legend says that
 if slaves found something to be funny and there were white people around, they were to run to the nearest “laughing barrel” and wipe the smile off their face before they peered out. Many believe the practice was the genesis of the term “barrel of laughs”
Wesley Brown’s award-winning novel, "Darktown Strutters," gives a vivid description of the practice that implied there was a potential of insult to white people who may be in the presence of black folks laughing. The unspoken insinuation that blacks might possibly be 'snickering' at white people. Presumably, the unwritten Jim Crow law was enacted on Southern plantations that did not permit whites to be insulted by Negro laughter.
As a side note, Brown also explains the term Jim Crow derived from a minstrel song entitled “Jump Jim Crow.” The book also tells of the inhumanities suffered by slaves before, during and after the practice died out thanks to the Emancipation Proclamation, even though many of the laws continued well into the 1950’s.
As the story goes, during slavery times, blacks were not allowed to laugh on many plantations. When the urge to laugh became irrepressible, the slaves had a “laughing barrel” into which they would lean way down, place their head in the barrel and laugh; then go back to whatever it was they were doing.
Here one discovers that before and even after the American Civil War, there were such things as barrels placed around the streets of southern cities or the pathways of plantations for black people to stick their heads into should they get the urge to laugh in public. It seems that local white people didn’t want to hear their laughter, lest they gain the sense that it might be aimed at them.
Author and poet Maya Angelou, in her book “Discovering Family Roots in Slavery,” writes about how on many plantations slaves were not allowed to laugh. There was a rule against it. So, when the urge to laugh became uncontrollable, when the urge to laugh became irrepressible, they had what they called “the laughter barrel.” At the moment when they couldn’t hold it in any longer they would, under the pretext of getting something out of the barrel, lean way down inside and let it all out. They would laugh and laugh and laugh, then wipe the smile off their face and go back to what they were doing.
“Many churches had ‘shouting barrels’ into which overjoyed slaves would place their heads in order not to disturb the church services,” Daniel Lane and Roy Cunningham write in their book, “Notable Blacks of the Pee Dee Section of South Carolina.”
There is little hard evidence to prove the stories other than those passed along in the oral tradition of the familiar slave narrative. A book titled, “Mother Wit from the Laughing Barrel," edited by Alan Dundes speaks of “laughing barrels at least eight times. Although the book is a compilation of slave lore, legend and folk tales, there is some reason to believe the stories were true. Many believe the tale is not founded in truth, but considering the times, along with the way slaves were treated, it is not hard to imagine such a course of action.
Making slaves laugh in a barrel isn’t as far-fetched as one might think. As ridiculous as the practice seems, there were others rules that were just as silly and many of them were dangerous. In the Deep South, blacks had to either cross the street or get off the sidewalk to allow white pedestrians safe passage. Failure to do so could result in a beating or worse.
Clearing the sidewalk was just one of the many humiliations heaped upon slaves and later during the Jim Crow era. One such heinous and unwritten law included “reckless eyeballin,” which fell harshly upon any black man who had the nerve to look at a white woman. Emmet Till fell victim to such an unwritten law when he supposedly whistled at Carolyn Bryant, a white woman. Till was beaten, shot and dropped in the river, his body weighted with a fan blade tied around his neck with barbed wire.
Sadly, I actually had people in my family who talked of it and were afraid of talking too loudly or even laughing around white men even though they escaped the South and lived in Chicago. Emitt Till was killed while I was in Chicago. This is not ancient history. They had "laugh barrels" in the South for Negroes to stick their heads in because white men assumed blacks were laughing at them. It is difficult to put that kind of treatment behind you even though you know it is poisonous.
Personal experience with segregated movie theaters, swimming pools and restaurants were small insults, but helped contribute to internal anger among Negroes. Although seemingly harmless, more virulent practices existed such as never addressing a white man by any other name unless prefixed with "sir." The same applied to white women, but they were to be called "mam." On the other hand, blacks were expected to answer to names like "boy or uncle," while women were called "gal" or "girl."
Writing in the Texas Monthly, in 1985, Gary Cartwright, delivered a story titled, “The Final Gun.” In the story, Cartwright writes, “There was a barrel in Saratoga called the laughing barrel, and blacks who felt themselves in danger of laughing were required to stick their heads in it.” Saratoga is located thirty-eight miles northwest of Beaumont, TX.
Whether or not “laughing barrels” existed or are just part of black folk lore probably makes no difference other than to add insult to the injury slaves faced regularly in the South. However, based on previous Jim Crow rules, more than likely “laughing barrels” existed, as it seemed that no humiliation was too low to be heaped upon black men and women.

Painting from the Winfred Rembert, Caint to Caint Collection, 2010

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Why Men Fall Asleep After Sex

I know why men fall asleep after sex. After years of research into the subject, I found the answer. I don’t know how I overlooked it when it was so apparent. Conversation! Men fall asleep after sex to avoid conversation. A little known fact is men have only a certain amount of words they can use for romantic encounters. This finite number is usually expended in the conversation leading up to a sexual encounter. On the other hand, if it is a “quickie,” the chances of falling asleep decrease, but the probabilities of conversation remains the same.
My research shows it is nothing personal, but men expend large portions of their romantic and interactive vocabulary when they first meet a woman. By the time they’ve slept together six or seven times, his interactive and romantic vocabulary for that women is nearly exhausted and must be renewed on a day-to-day basis. Even then there are a finite number of words nature limits a man to speaking. Either he can use it for meaningful conversation or he can use it for romance.
Nature made men this way. In the beginning, there were hunters and there were gatherers. Men did the hunting and women did the gathering. Initially this worked out fine, but the gatherers soon tired of gathering things and grunting at the children, so they invented language. When the men returned from hunting, the women introduced them to the new trend—talking. Initially, the men liked it because it made telling stories about the size of the mastodon they killed easier to tell without stretching their hands.
After a while, instead of talking, men invented the high five, low five and the chest bump as ways to say “outstanding,” without mouthing the words. Women also caught on to these hand signals and began using them to wave the men into their cave where they would talk with the men over the camp fire until it burned out. Of course, the man stayed until the fire burned out because that was the signal for sex. After sex, he went to sleep for the next day’s hunt or stood guard while the other men slept.
As the amount of conversation picked up, the two-day hunting trips became longer until it lasted more than a week. Still, they returned, but with news ideas. Men invented the “honey do.” As a way to get out of spending time in the cave, talking men invented the “honey do” under the guise of helping when in reality it was a ploy to get out of talking.

Today, despite subtle hints like sleep, comas and death, women still try to engage men in meaningful conversation after sexual encounters. However, I cannot tell you any more about that, not because I don’t want to because I’ve used up my 471 daily word limit. (481)

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Conkaline, Vaseline and “Peanut’s” House of Slick

All of this started years ago at Troy Wilson's house in response to a young lady by the name Geraldine Hopkins. She was the catalyst that started a series of events made especially for today's home digital movie cameras. Once upon a time, musicians, pimps and other denizens of the night were the primary wearers of processed hair. Others avoided it thinking it made them look greasy or shiny, a cardinal sin for black folks in those days. Later it became a symbol of trying to look white, but that's another story.
Because of Geraldine Hopkins, one of my best friends decided to get a process as conks were commonly known. The first problem came when we could find no barbershop in the general vicinity that did processes of any type. Kansas City was the nearest city that offered processed hair. It seemed as if there was a shop on every other corner there, but $50 was a lot to pay for a fancy hairdo. Fortunately, none of us had to pay it, so it didn’t matter, but for “Cool Breeze” Wilson, the price was too steep. Secondly, congolene, was difficult in our area.
That's when James 'Peanut' Franklin stepped into the picture saying that not only did he know how to do it, but he would do it for only $20. Peanut did his own and by looking at his “do,” it was apparent. So, Peanut had experience, but none of us especially Troy knew that it would make difference in the split-second sequence of applying a process. We all went with Peanut and Troy to get the necessary tools for the job and were surprised that the only things we recognized was a comb. The rest of the tools were chemicals (lye, eggs & potatoes).
We were in Troy’s kitchen when Peanut’s house of conk opened. With a seeming expert’s touch, Peanut whipped together the ingredients into a thick paste, which he would apply to Troy’s scalp later. After about ten minutes he began to applying the before applying the home made conk to Troy’s hair. Peanut let it sit for almost 10 minutes before he even thought about using it. That’s was it! Or, so we thought.
Peanut explained that the paste would straighten Troy’s hair and the more he combed it through his hair, the smoother it would become until his hair would look straight as Elvis Presley’s. It all seemed straightforward to us. We watched as Troy, dishtowel wrapped around his neck, sat while Peanut combed the pasty concoction through his hair. It was quite boring, at least for the first five minutes, then, everything changed.
“Nut, it’s starting to burn,” Troy said.
“Yeah, it’ll do that for awhile. That’s why I put that mineral oil in your hair to keep it from burning your scalp.”
“Burning my scalp? You didn’t say nothing about burning my scalp. Shit. It’s burning man. You gotta get this this shit off of here,” Tray shouted.
“We have to leave it in just a little longer if you want it to get straight,” Peanut said.
We watched with full smiles on our faces as Troy squirmed and fidgeted trying to tough it out. Sweat was pouring from his brow and the laughs were seeping through our lips.
“Ooh goddam. I’m about to piss on myself,” Troy said.
“Just 30 more seconds,” Peanut said.
Finally, it was over; or, it seemed like it was over. We could hear Troy shouting from the bathroom all the things he was going to do to Peanut if he survived.
When Troy came out of the bathroom, his hair was laying across his ears—straight as a bone. It worked! Of course, none of us, including Troy or Peanut knew what happened later. No one mentioned sores in the scalp or being unable to comb your hair. It was all quite comical to us, but Troy and Peanut almost lost friendship over it.

Eventually, it all worked out and pompadour Wilson came into being. None of us liked the way it looked, especially Geraldine Hopkins, but if any of that bothered Troy, he never showed it, but that was his last “conk.”

Monday, September 7, 2015

Y
ou got a problem with gay adoption? So do I. My problem stems from ignorance. I don’t have enough information about children raised by gay couples to know if the practice might be harmful to the children. However, I do have a problem with your opinion against it, if you are not adopting a child.
To me, it is a case of blind men and women telling me what an elephant looks like. Right now, the state acts as parents, which is the same as having none. There are thousands of children who need homes and there is nothing stopping concerned heterosexual citizens from adopting these children and keeping them out of the hands of these dangerous homosexuals. These children need exactly the types of homes touted by the loudest protesters against gay adoption.
They need homes with strong moral values, family environments and plenty of love for our fellow man, which seems to be in short supply for many. Still, to keep these children out of the hands of these godless and predatory homosexuals, the righteous need to hurry down and adopt one, two or even three of these children and help thwart homosexual lust.
Every year more than 75% of adoptable children remain unadopted. Why? The primary reason is that those who are adopting want white children under a year old. That leaves Hispanic and Black children sitting in orphanages until they turn 18 and become wards of the state, which we don’t want to pay for with our tax dollars.
We could kill them all and that would save us some money, but it isn’t about the money, it’s about keeping these poor children out of the hands of the homosexuals. I agree let’s do it. Let’s adopt all of the children and then there will be no more children for homosexuals to adopt.
Maybe the uproar has nothing to do with homosexuality. Each year an estimated 896,000 children across the country are victims of abuse or neglect in good Christian homes, according to national data from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The statistics indicate about 12.3 out of every 1,000 children were victims of abuse or neglect.
These statistics cover only heterosexual families. The statistics based on information collected through the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System; show that child protective service agencies received about 2,600,000 reports of possible maltreatment. There were 896,000 substantiated cases of maltreatment of children—the majority of which involved cases of neglect by heterosexual, Christian parents. About 1,400 children died of abuse or neglect, a rate of 1.98 children per 100,000 children in the population.
Perhaps, heterosexuals don’t want gays left to face these types of problems and if that is the case, their stance is commendable. On the other hand, it may be that no one from the white community is going to adopt a minority child and are so homophobic they don’t see the children who need love and care.

It is a bigotry hidden by religious zeal and political posturing, but when it comes to showing love to their fellow man and woman, their care about adoptive children is as shallow as their slogans. They are more interested in denying others opportunities than in helping to solve a problem that continues to haunt the country—too many children under the care of the state. 

Friday, September 4, 2015

Skin Politics

Years ago, a strange saying circulated throughout the black community illustrating the skin politics that lingers from slavery. "If you're white you're all right. If you're brown stick around, but if you're black stay back." It may surprise some, but the doggerel poetry originated in the black community long ago and reflects the unsubtle preoccupation with skin color among African Americans.
History
Although skin color among Africa slaves was predominately dark brown to nearly black, concern about color came about as a direct result of miscegenation. Although the term is commonly associated with African slavery in the United States, it came about much sooner than the kidnapping of blacks from Africa as the first blacks arrived in 1619 as indentured servants. Black and white indentured servants worked for a specific number of years and were then freed. The lives of black and white indentured servants were similar at this time. They worked side by side; they lived together in the same dwellings and fraternized after their labors. They also married and had children together.[1]
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, miscegenation is defined as During slavery, miscegenation between white and blacks was strictly prohibited. Although forbidden, instances of sexual intercourse between white and black occurred and usually without black female consent.
In the United States, whites saw themselves as superior and all others as subordinate or inferior. This practice was termed hypodescent. During American slavery, the word meant the automatic assignment of children of a white and union between members of different ethnic groups to subordinate status. Progeny of these usually forced incidents became mulattos. However, as the children of forbidden relations matured there was intermarriage between mulattos producing quadroons (a person of one-quarter African ancestry and a Caucasian parent). Octoroon meant a person with one-eighth African ancestry and one white parent.
Perceptions and Reality
Focus on skin color came early during slavery as mixed children of slave owners received better consideration than slaves with pure African blood. The difference was not lost on unmixed slaves as the children of slave master often received hostile treatment from regular field hands. The politics of skin came early for African slaves. Many slaves were children of well-to-do white fathers and many were recognized and sponsored by their fathers. Once free, Negroes of lighter skin color came to dominate the free black community both in numbers and influence.
Because of the better treatment, former slaves often focused on marriage to a lighter skinned black in order to have a lighter child, which was seen as an asset in the black community as fair-skinned Negroes seemed to obtain better jobs and treatment. Even black sexuality did not escape the effects of skin politics as lighter skinned men and women tended to have their choice of marriageable partners. Whether it was the benefit of better jobs or prized romantic interests, skin color has long been an issue in the black community.
Skin Lighteners
Skin lightening or whitening creams have met with controversy in the black community where many claim that such products lead to confused identities and devaluations of traditional cultures. With portions of the black community “skin lightening” is considered to be brought about by a combination of self-hatred, European ideas of beauty and a desire to be accepted by greater society to create better opportunities. How much of this is true remains open to question, but the reality of skin bleaching is tangible and often produces unexpected results.
The skin lightening industry is a multi-million dollar industry, but the economic leads many to give legitimacy to the business of changing skin color, as most creams are a dangerous concoction of chemicals such as steroids, hydroquinone and tretinoin. The long-term use of these drug cocktails can lead to permanent pigmentation changes, skin cancer, liver damage, mercury poisoning and many others.
Yet, the formulations of these products are shrouded in mystery and awareness of their hazardous effects is low. Nearly 30 per cent of long-term users report adverse effects as most skin lightening creams contain mainly two chemicals, hydroquinone or mercury.[2] Mercury is poisonous and can cause permanent damage the nervous system. Mercury poisoning is still known today as 'Mad Hatter's disease as it used to be used in the making of hats. The chemical affected the nervous systems of hatters, causing them to tremble and appear insane. Toxic levels of mercury can also lead to kidney damage and may lead to psychiatric disorders. In addition, it can lead to severe birth defects. [3]
Other chemicals include topical steroids, which can hypertension, elevated blood sugar and suppression of the body’s natural steroids. The steroid corticosteroid used in some bleaching creams can result in Cushing's disease, a malfunction of the adrenal glands leading to an overproduction of cortisol. Other side effects include increased appetite and weight gain, deposits of fat in chest, face, upper back, and stomach, swelling, slowed healing of wounds, osteoporosis, cataracts, acne, muscle weakness, thinning of the skin and more. [4]
Consumers wrongly assumed that all ingredients were disclosed on labels. “There’s a basic assumption that there’s some truth in labeling,” said Dr. David McDaniel, a dermatologist in Virginia Beach and a director of the Skin of Color Research Institute at Hampton University (a historically black college). “That’s a false assumption for the skin-lightening market.”[5]
Skin lightning is not relegated to the African American community as countries as diverse as Senegal, India and the Philippines skin lightning is promoted as a way to elevate one’s social standing. India has a thriving fairness industry and fairness creams are reportedly the most popular in the unfettered skin care market. In 2003, Dr S. Allen Counter of Harvard Medical School reported that the high levels of mercury found in people, but particularly women, from Mexico, Saudi Arabia and in Tanzania in East Africa related to the use of skin lightening creams.[6] Allen also reported that 96% of over 300 patients in the Southwestern United States that have higher than normal mercury levels were female and all had used skin lightening products; likewise 90% of women tested in clinics in Arizona who were Mexican-American had been using the same products.[7]
Discrimination?
It’s not some fantasy. There is prejudice against dark-skinned people, especially women in the so-called marriage market. Interestingly, prejudice often surfaces among members of the same ethnic groups and races. For the longest, in the African American community light skin was considered more attractive, better accepted and led to superior opportunities. Fairer, lighter skin is highly valued in some countries such as Asia and India.
Men
A small percentage of men also use bleaching creams. Former Chicago Cubs slugger, Sammy Sosa, has a noticeable change of skin color. Sosa, a Dominican-born American citizen, told a reporter from ESPN that he had used a cream nightly to “soften” his skin and that it had bleached it, too.[8]
Given that chemical skin lightening has a range of serious side effects, the best advice would be to stay clear of such products and be happy to be in your skin.[9]



[1] Linda Allen Bryant, Slavery and Miscegenation in America, The Legacy of West Ford, http://www.westfordlegacy.com/History/slavedoc.html

[2] Nalini Ravichandran, Skin whitening creams can cause long-term damage, doctors warn, Daily News, August 4, 2013, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2384456/Skin-whitening-creams-cause-long-term-damage-doctors-warn.html#ixzz31yQIvPd7

[3] Dr. S. Allen Counter, Whitening skin can be deadly, Boston Globe, December 16, 2003, http://www.boston.com/news/globe/health_science/articles/2003/12/16/whitening_skin_can_be_deadly/

[4] Lynn Berry, The Dangers of Using Skin Lightening Creams, March 27, 2008, http://www.naturalnews.com/022893_skin_dangers_products.html#ixzz379p8lTcA

[5] Catherine Saint Louis, Creams Offering Lighter Skin May Bring Risks, New York Times, January 15, 2010,

[6] Lynn Berry, The Dangers of Using Skin Lightening Creams, March 27, 2008, http://www.naturalnews.com/022893_skin_dangers_products.html#ixzz379p8lTcA

[7] Dr. S. Allen Counter, Whitening skin can be deadly, Boston Globe, December 16, 2003, http://www.boston.com/news/globe/health_science/articles/2003/12/16/whitening_skin_can_be_deadly/

[8] Enrique Rojas, Sosa: Cream has bleached skin, Sports ESPN, November 10, 2009

[9] Simon Pitman, Medical research highlights dangers of skin lightening, Cosmetics Design, February 15, 2008,
http://www.cosmeticsdesign-europe.com/Formulation-Science/Medical-research-highlights-dangers-of-skin-lightening?utm_source=copyright&utm_medium=OnSite&utm_campaign=copyright