Monday, March 9, 2015

Sick and Tired:Women Beware!

I was sitting within hearing distance of a show my wife watched on television when I heard something that sent me to the keyboard if for nothing else, to let off steam. I don’t remember what show it was and it doesn't really matter. It was the subject that lit my fire. 

For the umpteenth time, I heard a group of women describing their ideal man. The man they described sounded absolutely incredible and wonderful even to me. In fact, if I weren't a flaming heterosexual I'd marry him myself. As I listened to the women describe their ideal man, I thought to myself—what is it any of these women had that qualified them for such a man. 

Usually, in a relationship, there are two people unless it‘s a business arrangement, which qualifies it as something else. Nevertheless, I'm not foolish enough to believe that I remotely met any of their requirements in any way. I’m not a troll, and neither am I tall and handsome. I have plenty of degrees, but I don't think that's what makes me smart. I've held important positions in the corporate world. Money? I'm not broke, but I'm not close to being rich either. My best attribute is my personality, of which I think I have plenty. After that quick inventory, I quickly surmised I didn't have a thing these women wanted.

On the other hand, almost all of them had something that caught my attention and it wasn't good looks because all of them were very acceptableNevertheless, that is not what caught my attention. What reeled me in was that at least half of them were what I politely refer to as "bitches." I wouldn't have gone out with most of them unless they two $500, 000 bags propped on their breasts. 

In reality, the breasts would not have even a small effect on my libido. The only thing that would remotely matter, is if I couldn't lift the bags and had to share the money with anyone who helped me lift it off the supporting titties. Even then, breasts would be a miniscule bother. 

Am I educated? If they mean do I have a college degree, the answer is yes, several of them. However, it not something I care to mention, because it seems like it bragging unless I am speaking at a scientific convention where it is expected.

Rather than education, this man would prefer an excellent conversationalist, comfortable and capable of discussing topics on the spur of the moment. I’m not looking for the most beautiful woman in the world. So, for me a conversationalist is worth her weight in gold.

When it comes to looks, attractive is just fine, especially when comes without attitude and overconfidence. Now, I must confess that I am a big fan of Malaysian women. Why? Who knows? Of course, if I can trick a world class beauty into my bed (ain't gonna happen) I won't kick her out for eating saltines.

If I were dating, I’d probably go out with white women, black women Asian women, Indian women, Mexican women and females. I also heard that powerful women, executive women or beautiful women intimidate many men. They go on dates with these intimidated men and when they aren't asked out again they cover up their disappointment saying that men can’t deal with a professional or educated women.

Personally, I think they don't come back because they can't deal with a bitch, egoist and worthless human being, unless it is for a night and flight. Personally, it makes no difference to me. In addition, I think far too many women overvalue and give themselves credit for something they aren’t.

Yes, men tend to be shallow in some instances not deep enough to cover a dime. However, for the most part, if we've had any type of upbringing at all, we tend to be overly courteous and try to avoid certain situations, especially those that may require hurting someone’s feelings.

Now, for the bottom line. I’m not all of that as a date especially if you're going by looks and height. If it has to do with how many pieces of paper I have, more than likely I will never mention it unless we've had several dates. As far as my tastes in women, I like tall women. I also like short women, as well as big women and skinny women or just females. I’m not too picky.

However, I don't like arrogant women, belligerent women or impressionable women. I’m not a big fan of heavy makeup, fake hair or titties. Homemaking? I really don’t care. I'm a damn good cook; I can wash and iron my own clothes. I can make a bed. In fact, my house meticously clean. Perhaps, even too clean. In other words, I don’t need a woman for any of those things. Sex? That might be the easiest on my lowbrow list. Sex? Too Easy.

I admit I am notoriously shallow, ill-behaved and generally a silly person. However, I am also smart, determined and driven. That’s it. I don't have a long list and anything on my list can be replaced, forgotten or forgone. I want nothing more than an interesting and mysterious woman. That’s it. If I can’t get that, I’ll resort to a trophy girlfriend, tall and tanned, long flowing hair and several college degrees. However, any of that can be overridden by truckloads of money and extreme generosity toward me. Yes, I am that shallow.


By the way, this is my list from long ago, and since I have been off the market for some time, some of this doesn't apply as I'm sure that standards for dating have changed dramatically. On the other hand, I might not be the only man that feels this way even today.